Message to the masses

Hey everyone! Unfortunately, I won't be able to share my sage thoughts with you in a more personalized, one-on-one way, due to circumstances as unforeseen as they are unfortunate. 

This hospital room, to which I have been confined since Thursday afternoon, has no wifi. In fact, the entire hospital has no wifi. (Like you, I originally thought France was a first-world country--until last summer when I discovered, amid a windless 40°C heat, that apartments in Paris actually have no air conditioning.) Thus, I have no way of getting your emails nor responding to them. I assure you, it's definitely not for lack of spare time. I shall write this on my tablet and have my companion take it, go grab internet somewhere and send it to you all. 

I'm not sick, nor am I injured, in case you're wondering. Unless "sick of being in this room 24/7" counts. Satan wanted to hinder missionary work by having them bring a perfectly healthy elder into the hospital to do a million tests to make sure I'm not dying of tuberculosis. That's right, tuberculosis! The reasoning for this is that I was in contact with a missionary (I saw him a grand total of 7 times) a year ago who later got the disease. Luckily, the Lord saw straight through Satan's plans, and instead of leaving busy Amiens missionary-less for a week, He provided the convenient situation of my trainer being in a tri-panionship in the not-far-away land of Versailles. So he replaced me and is doing awesome missionary work with Elder Carson, and I'm sitting here...not doing that. 

I ran out of time! They're taking my tablet away to send this. Love you all!

Jordan

(The only good thing about this hospital stay is calling, texting and FaceTiming with family!)